how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
