what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
