i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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