Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
