She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
