I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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