rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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