The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
