so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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