I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
