I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
