3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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