My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its not stalking. its research.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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