it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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