it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
