in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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