I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
