I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
