told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
