Plan B is the new Plan A
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
