Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
