Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
