took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
