Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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