the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
