Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
