I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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