Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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