My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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