her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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