There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
