Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
