Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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