found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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