I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
