No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
