whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
