I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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