Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
