exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
