why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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