What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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