So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
