do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
