weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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