Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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