I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
