Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He had one of those small greek statue penises
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
