why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
