If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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