guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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