I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
